I don’t feel that way. Why? Because of the truth I learned early on when we first brought JoZi home. As adoptive parents, we knew she would probably be our only one, and we are fine with that. But I wanted to soak in every moment, every milestone, every new stage. And I did just that. The number one truth I held onto and that I encourage any new mother to hold onto is that every moment with your baby is sacred time.
Everything else belongs on the back-burner. Work, friends, money, even showers, belong on the back-burner. That little person, that little miracle, that little bundle of love wrapped up in a muslin blanket is your whole world now. And no amount of quality time is enough. Instead of planning lots of things to do, play-dates, events, social functions, swim lessons, and mommy and me yoga classes which this little one will not recall their first year as their little brains don’t really retain their first year of life, make each month of their life about one of one time spent talking with you, cuddling with you, learning you, and the other people in their life who love them.
When they learn to smile, smile with them. When they first laugh, laugh with them. When they cry, vaildate them and remind them you are there. When they start to sit up, sit next to them. When they crawl, crawl next to them. When the stand, stand and hold their hand. Be in their world, and be with them in their milestone. This time is like the waters of a river: it’s always moving and you will never hold that part of the river in your hand again.
Are you on maternity leave for only 6 weeks and then headed back to work, allowing someone else the privilege of raising your baby? Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your purposes in working. If you are a single parent and have no choice, then of course you have to do what you have to do. But if you are only working to avoid a car payment you really don’t need, or a mortgage that’s far too much for your little family, then I encourage you simplify your life, and make your life condusive to give your all to your new baby, rather than your career. Your career will always be waiting for you. Your little one will not. For they will grow and they will know how important your work is to you, and that perhaps, they may not take precedence over that.
I say this truth I have learned not to condemn parents who are planning lots of events for their family or to shun people who work full-time, but rather to encourage to re-evaluate your priorities. Is your priority to live in a big, nice house, and make a name for yourself in the world, or is it that inner truth that lies within your heart to raise a well-adjusted, secure and happy child and prep them on what is truly important when becoming an adult – to spend time and to love others.
I would not trade the endless hours I have spent playing, SUPing, snuggling, sleeping, eating, swimming, and talking with my little girl. Putting my time with her first, as helped me become more wise, more loving, and more appreciative of life and all it’s little milestones. My hope is that if you are reading this and are also a new mom, or planning to become will, you will take this to heart and make this truth your truth too.